Day 271: Practice, A Thought-Clearing Spell

Today’s practice…well, I wasn’t looking forward to this.  Sometimes I think the only way I make it through the day is to tamp down and ignore these negative thoughts that I’m constantly thinking about myself.  But then I realized that I’m not doing myself any favors by ignoring them.  I need to acknowledge them and banish them.  If I acknowledge them, I can see their truthfulness or exaggeration more objectively, and I can perhaps be able to dismiss them or take steps to correct them.  So, here it goes.

Not my favorite picture of an undertaking.  I actually feel a lot of shame when I see this uncovered list.

Not my favorite picture of an undertaking. I actually feel a lot of shame when I see this uncovered list.

What You’ll Need:

  • Circle-casting tools
  • A Lemon
  • A dip pen (such as a feather quill or a calligraphy pen)
  • A blank white piece of paper
  • A 5-6 inch red taper candle
  • A thurible (or a deep pot in which you can safely burn an item)

This is an all-day spell.  From the moment you awaken, focus your attention so that you have an awareness of what thought patterns arise.  Whenever you notice a harmful thought, write it down on a piece of paper.  Continue this practice until sundown.  Then, when the sun has set, squeeze the juice of a lemon into a small bowl.  Dip the tip of your pen into the lemon juice and use this to rewrite each of your harmful thoughts on a clean white sheet of paper.  At the top and the bottom of each page draw a banishing earth pentagram with the lemon juice ink.  Remain silent while completing this rewriting task and allow no interruptions.  Please note that the lemon juice will transfer to the page invisibly, so take care not to write over anything you have previously transferred on to the page.

Wait for the lemon juice to dry.  Cast your circle as usual.  Light a red taper candle.  Hold the paper with the lemon juice writing on it close to the flame, but not so close that the page ignites.  The writing should appear now.

During this ritual action, chant continuously:

From the void you have emerged,
And to the void you shall return!

Once you see all of your writing, fold the page in half, then in half again.  Light it on fire with the red candle and drop it into the thurible.  Continue chanting until there is nothing left but ash.  Close your circle as usual.  Bury the ash far from your dwelling.

I did not have a red candle handy, but decided a black one would be fine given its associations with banishment and negativity.  In case you can’t make out my uncovered page o’ shame, it reads: fat, lazy, user, nobody could love you, ugly, old, boring, failure, scared, lard ass, worthless, lonely, dull, stupid, wasting your life and talent.  It’s not all lies.  I AM fat.  Obese, really.  I definitely tend towards the lazy and procrastinatrix end of the spectrum.  On the other hand, I know that people do love me–quite a bit, actually.  I’m not hot, but I’m quite pretty…and despite the fact that I’m creeping up on 30, I’m not old at all!  I am an interesting person, though I need to get out and live and explore the world more, and I’m not dull and stupid  I am, however, definitely wasting my life and talent.

It was difficult–so difficult!–to actively note when I was thinking something negative about myself today, and it was really hard to watch that list grow.  It was really painful to laboriously re-transcribe that list with the invisible lemon juice, and I almost cried when I saw the words reappear on the page.  This is what I think of myself every day!  Words and thoughts have powerful magic, and this is the spell I weave around me every single day.  Talk about your self-fulfilling prophecy!

I was glad to see this list burn away and to purge myself of its ashes.  Do I feel “cleared” of these thoughts?  No.  But becoming aware of them and realizing what I need to change…emotionally, I feel opened and able to actively purge these thoughts from my life.

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