My life should be one of overactivity. I’m in graduate school. I teach. I do chores at the co-op. I take care of chickens. I study Wicca. I study cooking. I do a hundred and one things every day.
But I still fall hard on the “listlessness” side of activity. I still procrastinate horribly. On everything. I’ve done hardly any research for my term paper (due in a couple weeks!). I haven’t put a roof on the chicken coop. I’ve only graded TWO student papers from the last essay cycle…and on Monday I get their next one!
I do watch me a helluva lot of TV, though. Have you seen the rape story line on Private Practice this season? Really compelling writing and acting, that.
So, yes. I needed to vow to complete two tasks today. And what did I do? I rented a truck and picked up the last materials needed to roof the chicken coop–that is, the roofing materials themselves. Ten foot lengths of corrugated metal and 2x4s are not the easiest thing to transport in a Ford Taurus, after all. I also replenished my eye makeup remover. And I wrote this blog post.
I’m taking baby steps here. Whenever I try to sit down and force myself to do something, I just get…tired. Really, really tired. And my brain turns off. And all I want to do is sleep or be passively entertained. It’s really hard to power through that, lately: might I be depressed?