Day 4: Questioning Your Path

Today Roderick says that “The greatest source of power for Wiccans is, above all else, spiritual truth” and asks us to face our lives candidly and with clear perspective. To that aim, we get to do the following exercise.

Exercise:

Explore the following questions listed below and commit your feelings to paper.

• Why am I exploring the Wiccan path?
• What were my previous spiritual practices?
• Did any of these past practices lead me to investigate Wicca? How?
• What are my hopes in engaging in this path?
• What are my fears in engaging in this path?
• How will I handle friends and family members who might not approve of my spiritual search?
• Aside from transitioning to a new spiritual path, are there other major events that impact my life at this time (for example, deaths, births, divorce, job loss, etc.)?
• If I have major life events happening right now, is this the best time to explore a new spiritual path? Why/why not?

Why am I exploring the Wiccan path?
I am exploring the Wiccan path because I want to be spiritual. I want to have a connection with something larger than myself. But I know that most organized religions—beautiful though they may be—only give us the opportunity to access a tiny piece of what could be. Wicca allows for more. It allows—heck, it encourages—exploration. It encourages customization. But because Wicca explicitly has this freedom, it also has an implicit challenge to meet it. And that involves thought and effort. If you’re going to be a Wiccan, you’ve got to be one 110%. I like that. I think it has the potential to be the best way to find ‘God’ and to understand him/her/it as best you can. I think that it has the potential to allow you to become a ‘good’ person based upon ethics, not of fear. In my book, these are very powerful motivators.

What were my previous spiritual practices?
I grew up as a Catholic, but I suppose I could say I’ve largely been agnostic. Or lazy. Take your pick.

Did any of these past practices lead me to investigate Wicca? How?

I suppose. I first started with Wicca when I was 14 and beginning confirmation classes at the Church. It coincided with a time where I began to be dissatisfied with many aspects of Catholicism, like the 2nd place status of women, the strictures against birth control and abortion, and issues of premarital sex. Now, my dissatisfaction wasn’t because I was itching to be either a priest or a whore and felt angry or guilty. Instead, these hot topic issues just seemed wrongly argued to me. So I was drawn to Wicca, which—once you got past the Silver RavenWolf spells for ensuring good traffic—allowed for more liberal politics and encouraged more thought. I liked that I had to be my own priest and had to measure up to the exacting standards of that office.

What are my hopes in engaging in this path?

I hope I can become a more spiritual person. I hope that I can become a wiser person. I hope that I can become a better person.

What are my fears in engaging in this path?

I’m worried that too many people drawn to Wicca are drawn to it because of the showier, metaphysical mumbo jumbo side. And, hey…I can understand it. Those things are fun. But it also attracts a type of person who is Not Good, and that is diametrically opposite of what I see in the religion. I’m also worried that I’ll never find a partner who will match or understand my view of it. (Well, I’m worried I’ll never find a partner period…one who is also a fantastic, thoughtful Pagan would be asking far too much.) I just don’t want to raise kids in two separate religions—especially where one says the other is wrong. I’m also worried that I’ll be too alone. The social aspects of belonging to a church are fantastic. It’s something I really miss.

How will I handle friends and family member who might not approve of my spiritual search?
Meh, it’s none of their business. Besides, I’m not sporting the giant pentacles. I’m sure that the friends and family know who I am, and most of them know the basics of what I believe. If they ever feel the need to know the name and particulars, I’ll tell them. If they can’t handle it, well…I’ll continue to be me and hope that someday they’ll recognize that.

Aside from transitioning to a new spiritual path, are there other major events that impact my life at this time?
Oh, outside of my parents sinking ever further into financial ruin, my mother having major health issues, my brother (again) in jail, my troubles with employment, my own health issues, and an impending move across country to begin a difficult graduate program, no…no major life events for me. But this isn’t a particularly ‘new’ spiritual path to me. I just want to get better and more dedicated to it.

If I have major life events happening right now, is this the best time to explore a new spiritual path? Why/why not?
Honestly, this is probably not the ideal time to really try for better spirituality. But ‘ideal times’ are few and far between in this life. I need to find a way to make it work in the situations I’m in. Carpe diem, y’all.

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